Sharon Kozar

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly ~ my experience of Pacific Orientation Course, village living and arriving in town to begin the newest chapter that the Lord has for me.

March 12 to April 10

All I can do is pray and cry; my heart is broken ~ the death of a Mawan 8th grade boy … so much pain … so much wailing … days and nights on end … and then his funeral.

 

We had been in the village for about 2 weeks and were just getting our feet under us… and then tragedy struck a nearby family. This is what I had written that morning.

 

“Today I awoke from my blissful sleep to realize that I had slept better than any other night in Mawan. I went downstairs to mama raking the leaves from the perimeter. I sat down and wrote in Tok Pisin on the cards that Nicole and I had crafted years ago that have Bible verses in English on one side. It was really nice.” Things changed that afternoon.

 

Around 4:00 PM Matthew walked by on his way home from work. He and his family live “next door.” Mama told him that he’d better go check on his son; 8th grader Joel, because he had been playing soccer at school and ran into the goal post and “was asleep since then” ~ my heart sank. After mama shared what happened and more people came by to go look ~ we headed that way. I prayed all the way “Lord help me to know what to do/say/feel!!” I’ve never seen such anguish as I watched a mama at the water pipe trying desperately to get life back into the lifeless form of her 17 year old son. All I could do was cry and pray. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life; well once, but that’s another story.

 

Later that afternoon I asked mama if I could cook something to help feed the family and friends who were showing up. I made a big bowl of rice and put (canned) corned beef on top. They like it that way. We headed to our neighbors house. I’ve never been around anyone when they wailed their heartache out loud to God like this. The family and many friends were there wailing loudly. It was painful. Joel was number 5 out of 9 children. It was excruciating to hear all people, and then his grown brothers wailing in their pain. I can still hear his oldest brother. His pain haunts my heart and mind.

 

At one point in the evening Matthew thanked everyone for coming and came to shake my hand and express how much it meant that I was there with his family in their grief. His daughter asked me to sit with their mama. I stepped up to what looked to me like a cupboard and climbed up next to her. All I could do was hold her frail little black hands in mine and cry and pray as she wailed her pain to the Lord. It was one of the toughest moments I have ever lived through. I couldn’t take away her pain; all I could do was cry with her. What a precious mama she is!

 

After what seemed like a very long time sitting on top of the cupboard (I am quite a bit bigger ~ in every way ~ than my new PNG family, so it’s hard to squish all of me in some of the spaces that they can fit 2 or more) mama and I left and went back to the house. That night was the beginning of days and nights of wailing as more and more family members came to share in their grief. It was incredibly hard to listen to night after night. One nice thing, was that after a few nights, they began doing worship songs from midnight until 2:00 AM (Joel’s papa is the head church man in our area) and then people would disperse. Talk about incredibly difficult long days and nights. wow.

 

They had the funeral and many people shared about Joel. The teacher who attended to him when the accident happened recounted every minute of the time; at 3:00 this happened, at 3:05 this happened, at 3:10 Joel kicked and followed the ball to the goal, at 3:11 Joel ran into the goal post; at 3:12 we carried him into the classroom, at 3:14 I gave him mouth to mouth resuscitation, at 3:20 this happened, at 3:40 this happened and on and on and on. It was excruciating. I could feel mama and papa’s hearts break as we heard the details of their son’s death.

 

After the funeral, things settled down a bit ~ but it wasn’t the same anymore. We were missing a part of our family. Mawan is the community that the Lord chose to send me to. I don’t know the depth of why He sent me there at that particular time, but He does and that is all that matters. My family grew by leaps and bounds during village living. My heart is full.

 

I’ve learned so much about this culture that I can wrap my head around because of the courses I have taken via PBT/Johnson Bible College and POC ~ but there are things that I cannot wrap my heart around. I ‘understand’ their worldview, but things are not what I’m accustomed to ~ by any means. A lot of Papua New Guineans believe that “nothing happens by accident;” someone/something caused it to happen. They go through quite a process of talking out their “hevi’s” to make sure that their hearts are clean and they feel no animosity toward another person. While I really like this idea, it was so extremely hard for me to stand by while this happened when I wanted to scream to someone to get a car and get Joel to the hospital. I can share more with you individually if you would like. There is too much to put all of it here, now. These are not things that are easily digestible (by any means) and you really have to want to understand it or it seems insane. Actually, even when you want to understand it (like me) it still seems somewhat insane. This is another world; one that I have so much to learn about. I’m so grateful that the Lord led me here! Thank you for helping me to get here and to remain until the Lord calls me home or to another location.

On to something MUCH MORE FUN!!! My Papua New Guinean Namesake

One day while a bunch of us were sitting around talking, the subject was the pregnant lady in the village. Her name is Junis (Eunice)  and her husband is Ismael. Mama said if the baby is a girl they will name her Sharon and if it is a boy… “What name do you want it to be” I said “Robbie!” They said OK. I didn’t take them very serious because nobody in the states would do this for a lady they just met the week before. BUT… a baby girl was born and they gave her my name… I have a namesake in Mawan Papua New Guinea!! she is yawning, not crying or I wouldn’t look so happy. I never heard her cry once. She only weighed 2.1kg. Her mama and papa had to walk a great distance to get home ~ a mere 12 hours after Baby Sharon was born. Things are incredibly different here!

 

This is another reason I plan to go back to visit Mawan. I need to watch my little namesake grow up! I asked if there were any “responsibilities” with them using my name. They mentioned that I had bought her a package of diapers, some cute rubber pants and I crocheted her a blanket … that was more than enough. I wondered if I would be responsible for her school fees or something… you never know. Ask me about the trip to town to get yarn and a crochet hook, and teaching mama how to crochet later. It was on public transportation… oh so different from home! Here are two photos of us from a recent visit. She’s all smiles now… boy does she stare at me! I’m the first white person she has seen. She is such a nice baby!

 

Here are the photos I had trouble attaching last time; of mama sewing a blouse for me and my little yellow flashlight… defiled by… who knows what!

 

Please keep me in your prayers. My life of transition is still much underway… I am getting used to a lot of things here, but it is so different. I think that I was dealing with culture shock for a while… I had reverted back to the Sharon that I.do.not.like.one.bit!!! Please Lord, keep me on the right path. I had a pretty rough time and left some damage in the wake of “Tsunami Sharon.” Please pray that I am able to adjust to life in Papua New Guinea. I covet your prayers!

 

Please also pray for the people of Mawan. My new family is following Christ really well, and I love it! However, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t need to be lifted up in prayer. So as you lift me up, will you please also lift them and all the people of Papua New Guinea up in prayer too?

 

I am so grateful for your prayers and various kinds of support. I am blessed to be here! Thank you!

 

OK… next update will include things from the village that made me feel like I was back in the states ~ you never know where John Denver will be…