This morning I sat down with my freshly brewed cup of coffee and my toast. Then I heard the familiar sound of my neighbor cutting wood… which they had previously gathered … then they needed to start a fire … wait for the fire to be ready … and then prepare and … finally, they get to cook their breakfast. I feel blessed, and I feel spoiled and… I feel guilty that my life here is “easy.”
Is it as easy as it was in America? Not by any stretch of the imagination. Is it easier than a lot of my national friends have it? A resounding yes! I don’t have to wait hours on end for a PMV (public motor vehicle) to carry me from my home – to town and back – after a day at the office. I have a car to call my own from the generosity of donors. Thank you! I have four walls around me to keep me safe when I’m in my home. I have two double locks on each door with alarms. Some of my friends don’t have this. A bad person can cut through their walls. There have been many a time when I have had unruly, yelling and (sometimes) fighting drunk men mere feet from my windows (because my flat isn’t far off the street), but there is razor wire on top of the fences that separate us (and I have my PennyGirl to bark at whatever she deems unwanted in the area – mostly other dogs, and an occasional ferocious baby kitten like the other night, God love her). I have ease of life in some areas and I have protection from the dangers of difficult weather and some of the difficult people around me, and for that I am grateful.
I know that for every single one of us things are more different than they have ever been. I don’t want to go back to the way things were before. I want to remain changed – no matter what I am doing or where I am. Life for each of us has been altered as never before. I hope that the good changes that you found are being held tightly, and that those things that needed to be chipped out of your life are gone forever. God sure has been chipping away at me. It can be painful. He has been speaking to my heart and changing me, one painful moment to another. You may ask, “if He is working on you Sharon, does that mean that everything is easy now? Does it mean that the troubles that plagued before are suddenly a mist in the wind?” Not.hardly. The heat is turned up to scorching. The advice given to me by my best friend was to “do the next right thing.” And after that… “Do the next right thing.” And then … “Do the next right thing.” So I keep striving, keep walking, and keep trying to “do the next right thing.”
A while back I got a couple Casting Crowns and MercyMe albums. Many of their songs speak to my heart, but there have been two that tell how I have been feeling. I want to share them with you.
One is “In the Hands of the Potter” by Casting Crowns …
I still remember when I heard You call me by name
I’d follow You anywhere, knew I could trust You in anything
But now sorrow beats down on me, waiting for You to come through
I’m all alone with my questions, I’m dry and cracked open
And I thirst for You …
The other one is “Even If” by MercyMe
Even though I don’t have a stage, this is my life right now.
They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I’m losing bad
I’ve stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it’ll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can’t
It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now
I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul…
How are you? Is it well with your soul?
I am sure that life is not easy where you are. Shoot me a note and tell me how I can pray for you. I am happy to pray for you. COVID and other things in life have turned most (if not all) of our lives upside down.
Quick COVID update: In Papua New Guinea there have been 453 confirmed cases, of which 232 have recovered and there have been 5 deaths. Thankfully no confirmed cases in Madang. Pray it stays that way, please.
In the madness of the world today, I am sure glad for Sundays. They are far from what church used to look like… but just as precious because God is here. This was our worship team… it was nice.
Thank you so much for continuing to lift me up in prayer and for your financial support – especially during this difficult time.
Without you, I couldn’t be where I am and I couldn’t do what I am doing.
Thank you for praying for these specific things:
- For my personal safety in and around Madang
- That God continues to keep us safe from COVID in Madang (and Martha in her village)
- No more anxiety attacks and for the irregular heartbeats to even out
- Continued good health in every other way
- For our other teammates to be able to come back to Madang
- Pray for me to keep “doing the next right thing” and I am praying that for you
Hi Sharon, what a beautiful, revealing letter. Thank you for the list of things to pray about with you. I’m very thankful that you are in a safer setting. No doubt if you could, you would put each of your neighbors and friends in a safer setting.
I appreciate your openness about how God is speaking to your heart. A few years ago, something in a sermon from our Pastor triggered depression and grief about my past marriage and my husband’s divorce. For the rest of Sunday and all of Monday, I grieved, cried and prayed. On Tuesday morning, I got up to prepare for work. In the shower, the depression hit full force again and tears flowed. I cried out to God for a different mind set. In the next few moments, a phrase came into my mind. It was, “The struggle means nothing without the desire to win.” My tears dried up instantly as I understood some of the struggles the Apostle Paul may have experienced as he described pressing on to the high mark of his calling. I have not lost the peace God gave me about that matter. It is in his hands.
Sara has been living with us for the past three years due to a fire in one apartment in the building she lives at. No one was injured, but all 175 apartments we’re evacuated and their belongs put into a storage warehouse. Things are molding away.
During these three years, Sara has been through extreme emotional, physical, and mental struggles…with aggressive anger. But, God has provided help, answers, and blessings to help her. One of my biggest revelations for which to be thankful to God for is that the COVID thing happened during this time when Sara is with us. If this had occurred before the apartment fire, access to Sara would have limited, and I would not have gotten her the help she needed physically, mentally, or spiritually. Even though the three of us have had a very difficult time, I am so grateful for God’s foresight and provision.
I love you, Sharon, and am blessed to know your testimony and see your faithfulness to the Lord. You are a blessing!
Hi Pat,
Sometimes life sure can be harsh, huh? God bless you. Depression is difficult! I am thankful that I haven’t experienced it a lot in my lifetime. I am sorry that it hit you, but you went to the Lord and He helped you. I love that! You won. You beat the depression and have slapped satan squarely in his ugly mug. I can’t wait for his end! You have His joy and that is priceless. I am proud of you for keeping on keeping on.
I’m sorry that times have been difficult for and with Sara. What a sweetheart! God’s timing was all over her having to move from her place. Wow, thanks Lord. I imagine that she is mourning the loss of her freedom and being back at moms place. That is hard! What a shame that her stuff is molding. Do they plan to rebuild and the tenets get first shot at moving back home? Three years seems a little extreme – sorry! Thanks for sticking with the difficult times and “winning!” I am proud of you!
I love you too and I am so glad we are family. You are a great prayer warrior for me. I am grateful!